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Monday 2.3.2009
It has been a calm sunny day and the skies were clear and blue again. The surrounding hills look more naked everyday as the burnt leaves fall to the ground and only blackened trunks and ash coated ground remains.

The demolition gang returned and now both the brewery and the Studio cottage are levelled to the ground. Edd spent the day raking the shed floor looking for tools and the remains of his horse carts and Josh and I worked on the house. Some walls are still standing but the internal walls were too badly damaged by fire to be left in place. Even the bricks have been baked into a new brittle form . It is odd. They were always so tough to drill if I wanted to hang a picture.

Josh carted the bricks outside and I shovelled the remaining rubble into wheel barrows so that I could check it through for any remains. There were slim pickings today but I did find the little pot I used for salt in untouched condition as I worked in my former country kitchen. It was really my best room. I loved the old oak furniture and simple table and chairs. Big shelves at the tops of the walls housed my collection of pots and I liked to have the brick floor gleaming. My poor Aga has collapsed at the sides and spilled out its stuffing and now all my pots are in tiny pieces. I collected odds ceramic scraps. Perhaps one day I will make a mosaic with them like my mother used to make patch work quilts from our old clothes.

Tonight everyone is in a kind of panic because high winds are forecast to coincide with heat again tomorrow. Four big fires are still burning and many local towns are still in danger. At least we now have a telephone working under the big old gum tree so we can stay in touch with family. Yesterday so many friends dropped in that our work slowed a lot. It was really a tonic to see people who we have been missing. Caroline got stuck in and helped me shovel dirt until she looked like a bush fire victim herself. It is very, very dirty work.

Our demolition crew were very considerate and we can have more time to clean up the house. For no reason that I can think of a logic for, I really need to clean the ruin. Sort of a respect thing for what has been a wonderful home and centre for our family for so long. I want even the ruin to look cared for. I think it will be rather nice to have my own ruin . They are really very rare in Australia but I grew up with a lot in the UK and they can be restful contemplative places.

We recaptured our cow and calf yesterday with help from Wayne and Delisa. She was visiting a neighbours bull and he was not pleased.(the neighbour not the bull that is ). The fences are still all down but there is so much else that has to be done that no one has replaced any yet. Now we have power we could by another electric fence unit which would help with containment…..when we get time.

Tuesday march 3.
We woke around 5 am when the winds really got going. I decided being in a van under a gum tree was not a really clever place to be in these conditions. Edd found rope to try and secure the caravan awning and then we fought through the flying ash to replace the tarps over the animal feed. It was hard to see anything as the air was thick and it seemed as if some one had opened the gates of hell and let loose horror. Edd and I felt it was all to aweful to be happening. Luckily Beni arrived with food and cheer and even found time to help us with the tarps. She could not stay long because she was still on active duty with the CFA and it was yet another horror day for fires. She kept repeating that if we could get through the day it would be Ok and things would get better. I am not sure if this was to reassure us or herself.,

We were all worried that more trees would come down and block the road again but Mark , my friend Caroline’s partner, got in with a big truck full of pallets that we needed to keep the hay off the ground. By this stage we had fed all the animals and it was obvious that it would be impossible to do any work so Josh and I followed Mark out and went shopping. Edd stayed on the farm and Wayne joined him. They could not do much work except lash things down every time they sprung loose.

Even in Knox city the conditions were still rough. No one could walk outside easily even there as the winds whipped ash and dust into eyes. I managed to find a handbag and some shoes that I will need to go to the memorial service for Ray on Thursday. She perished trying to save her goats and will be sadly missed as she was always so willing to help everyone.

I was so tired that I was very grateful for Josh’s support. He did the driving and steered me round the shopping centre. I usually get lost on my own. Some how he managed to be extremely patient whilst I selected women’s things. All he needed was food at regular intervals to keep him going.

On our return we found a very dirty exhausted Edd . He said that although he and Wayne wanted to do things the conditions were just too bad. They just sat by the caravan and retied up everything that broke loose. Luckily we managed to do the evening milking and animal feeding before the rain started. That was not forecast either! Now lashing rain and a sudden and massive drop in temperature cascaded us into the next set of problems. It was hard for us but we knew the rain meant massive relief for everyone still in danger from the fires.


Wednesday 4.3.2009

We woke to a new calmness and a back wet sticky world. Yesterdays winds had blown all the fire dried leaves off the trees and every where they piled on the ground covering the blackened earth with ochre and russet. It reminded me of an English winter scene. The tarp we had used to shelter the goats had dipped in the centre under the weight of the dirty water that had filled it. At least all the smoke and ash has dropped from the air and it is easier to breath.

Milking goats in the drizzle was not much fun but cleaning up in our ruin was much less stressful and it was no longer necessary to wear masks. A friend of Edd’s from the Welsh choir arrived and rigged up phone cables so that I now have a phone in my office and the plastic box phone is near Edd’s caravan.

Our dear friends keep turning up with goodies. Today Ingred arrived with a hot chicken and fresh bread for breakfast. It was fantastic. Each day more plants are showing signs of life. At first everything looked totally dead but obviously their life force is strong and the desire to survive great. The apple trees have flowers as well as new buds, Some herbs have new green leaves and things look hopeful.

Thursday 5.3.2009
Today we had the memorial service for Ray in the hall at St. Andrews. Ray was about my age and another serious goat lady. She had always helped me with advise and inspection of goats for registration . It seems so unlikely that such a wonderful warm person could just go so fast . We heard that she was a member of the CFA and knew all about fire fighting. She had a mudbrick house that had sprinklers and underwater pipes so she believed her place could be protected. This fire was in a new category and a new set of rules applied that none of us knew.

A huge group of family , friends and goat keepers turned up to pay their respects. Her family told stories that made us laugh and I expect it was all recorded for her husband who is in hospital badly burnt. I was cold, I had brought clothes for the occaision on Tuesday when it was still stinking hot and at that stage it was hard to imagine it would ever cool down again.

In the evening Josh , Edd and I sat on the floor of the site office and ate Chinese take away with Beni’s fantastic wine. It all seemed very familiar as we did this so often in Alice Springs when we came in from the desert to do our shopping. The only difference was that in our demountable , Donger, home in the NT the dust that blew in under the door was red and what comes in here is black! We are returning to some sort of comfort zone.