A difficult journey

Yesterday I rashly agreed to collect a wood stove that Al is having repaired in Seymour. I had ulterior motives. Seymour has a craft shop that sells baby wool in lots of exciting colours and also I could find out if there was any chance that I could salvage my old Aga. I was hoping Edd would be able to come and that we could have a day out but this was not to be. Edd was needed to work with Mike on the shed excavations and do fencing.
No worries, I would go on my own. The men must have been better informed than I was because the drive was horrific. All the way to Yea pipe-laying trucks had taken over the road. It was drizzling too, so the road was a wash with greasy mud that the numerous trucks threw all over the windscreen. That, plus all the waits at traffic lights whilst large loads were manoeuvred out of small holes made driving hell.

It was not even possible to enjoy the scenery. Burnt trees and muddy excavations are depressing viewing. Also there is the big question about how sensible it is to be building this North-south pipeline. My personal thoughts were not much better. I felt as if someone had stolen my identity. Last year I was a businesswoman with my own business. I had a great little X-trail to drive and really “me” clothes that I had carefully collected over years.
Now I have no job, I am wearing hand-me-down clothes and here I was sat in a Ute that smelt of dog and had the front side all melted. Strangely, or maybe not so strangely, my friends seem to have changed too. People I shared with a lot are off doing other things and of course I am not meeting all the people associated with my work either. I am not upset about all this, but I am also not sure who I will become next. This is a sort of limbo period between the past and a still vague future.

Logic tells me that although we have the house insurance, the sheds, fences and farm equipment were not insured so somewhere along the line we will have to do with out something we had before. The charity we are receiving helps a lot here, but it will not be enough to breach the gap. So… what can we not have? A worse problem is that my job was going to be our only income when Edd retired. Now it has gone and Edd does not feel capable of going back to teaching. He was about to retire before but I had it all planned. How am I to sort this out now?
There is no immediate crisis because I have invested the insurance money and it will provide an income in the short term. The snag is that as we replace houses and sheds it will obviously diminish. There is just so much to rethink and so little time. Also just what has happened to the climate? Was this one exceptional year never to be repeated or is it the start of a dramatic climate shift? How can I plan for such uncertainty?

On the bright side there is no shortage of old Agas. I have a bag of bright coloured baby wool offering limitless opportunities and Al’s stove was unloaded with out drama. My eldest Grand daughter, India, had cooked us all an evening meal and sat around the table with my family my identity re-established itself quickly.